Heart of Ice
by troubled-regal-spirit
Summary: It just wasn't the same without him...Written as part of the Advent Calendar..


Disclaimer: I do not own the nanny!

The city that never sleeps was just as busy as it is on the night before Christmas. The hustle and bustle had yet to die down as the sky turned dark and a heavy snow fall began. Laughter and cheer filled the streets on the cold December evening. Lights twinkled in the windows of the apartments all across the city as decorative wreaths were hung on the doors. Snow flurries filled the nights sky as lovers young and old enjoyed the delightful time they could spend together in the city that never sleeps on Christmas Eve.

In the top floor penthouse, there was something missing. Despite the tree in the corner, and the dimly lit candles around the living room, something wasn't right. One meticulously decorated tree with lights and ornaments and a simple layer of garland that added just enough sparkle to make the tree seem perfect without being over the top. A task she had learned from someone in particular. The pristine porcelain angel which normally sat on top of the tree was packed in a box off in the corner with the rest of the forgotten belongings. His.

It was late and she probably should have been in bed wrapped in the arms of a man. But instead she stood by the large windows facing outward into the city lights. The window panes of the french doors that led to her balcony which over looked the city, were fogged with the heat of her breath. The coolness of the air coming through the door gave her a slight chill but she leaned her forehead against the glass and sighed.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms made their way around her narrow waist. Her eyes squeezed shut as he placed his chin on her shoulder and held her tight. She fought her hardest to not let him feel the way her body shook with the decent of her tears. She was powerless now that she was in his arms. She couldn't wipe her tears without him knowing that she was indeed crying. He probably wouldn't even know what to do if he even heard her breath hitch.

They stood there in silence as the time seemed to tick by. The only sound coming from the crackling of the fireplace in the far corner of the room. She could feel his breath on her neck as he held her close.

"Why aren't you in the nice warm bed?" he whispered into her neck. The warmness of his breath tickled as he spoke.

There was a moment of silence as she gathered her thoughts. She forced herself to be the fierce, dominant CC Babcock she always was. She didn't feel that way though.

"I...I couldn't sleep," she stuttered. The faintness in her voice almost gave her away.

"Hmmmm." He purred. "-Bet you'd be able to if you came back to bed."

"Why don't you go on back to bed?" She leaned her head back against his shoulder. She was practically willing him to leave her alone, to just give her a few minutes to grieve in peace. "I'll be there shortly."

She still didn't let him see her face.

"You okay?" He asked as he turned his face into her hair.

He would have known the answer before even asking the question. Another tear slipped down her cheek.

"Mmmm-hmmm. Go on back to bed," She pleaded. "Please."

He didn't have to be told twice. It was just something about him. It irked her almost that he didn't stay by her side a little longer. Instead, he let go of her and made his way back to her room. He wouldn't have let go.

Her forehead went back to the cool glass of the doors as her palms met touched the slick panes on either side. She couldn't bring herself to look around the room. She couldn't find the good in having happy ending. This couldn't possibly be how it was supposed to turn out.

Instead of entering the warmth of her bedroom, she opened the large doors and stepped out onto the terrace. The icy wind smacked her in the face and the tears that stung her cheeks were freezing from the bitterness.

The bitterness. The bitterness.

They were supposed to be bitter together on the holidays.

They were supposed to be bitter together.

She sunk to her knees and buried her face in her hands.

They were supposed to be together.


End file.
